Do you feel like your thought process is becoming dependent on the actions of other people? Do you focus on what others are doing and want to accomplish the same tasks? Then, you need to develop your self-reliance.
Developing your self-confidence and personal space is significant to know who you are. Self-reliance only comes from your inner self and it needs no external validation or evaluation. If you know your self-worth, your value judgment will guide you in your every action; otherwise, you will always look for others to approve or reject them.
It is true that you need the support and appraisal by the people who offer you love and compassion, and disconnecting with them may result in stress and emotional restlessness. However, it is equally significant for you to be independent in your actions, your own strength, and realize that you’re complete without the input of other people.
For this, you need to know how you can develop your self-reliance. Here is a list of 5 habits for developing and increasing self-reliance.
Being self-reliant requires you to own your actions and choices, meeting your responsibilities. When you will have the inner confidence and you recognize your character, you will be able to meet your responsibilities. For instance, keep your finance entirely under your control- avoid over-spending and then going to people for loans.
Know your weakness and faults, and learn from them to do better next time. If your life plans go wrong, fix them yourself instead of blaming other people or seeking help from them. Don’t depend on others to get your things done; instead, develop a habit of doing them yourself. For instance, struggle to bear your personal expenses without any financial dependence or clean your messy room without any support. It may seem hard, but doing so can incredibility increase your self-esteem.
Remember to retire into this little territory of thy own, and above all do not distract or strain thyself, but be free, and look at things as a man, as a human being, as a citizen, as a mortal. But among the things readiest to thy hand to which thou shalt turn, let there be these, which are two. One is that things do not touch the soul, for they are external and remain immovable; but our perturbations come only from the opinion which is within. The other is that all these things, which thou seest, change immediately and will no longer be; and constantly bear in mind how many of these changes thou hast already witnessed. The universe is transformation: life is opinion. Marcus Aurelius, Meditations 4.3
Make Independent Decisions
Be your own boss! You should have the ability to take your own decisions based on your thought process, experiences, and common sense. If you are emotionally strong and independent, you’ll not be afraid of your decision and your reliance on others for decision-making process will be minimized.
“When it comes to the striving for emotional independence, the last thing you wish to do is to ask others what they think about the idea. By asking other’s permission to approve your idea, you risk losing your power and motivation,” say Kim Chronister-a licensed clinical psychologist.
So, stop asking others to make your decisions, or approve your ideas, and do what your heart and mind tell you to do. In order to become in charge of your decisions, start it with small things like deciding dress for a party and choosing a mall for shopping. Then, implement it for big choices such as your career and educational paths.
Are you habitual of comparing your worth or access to others? Stop it right now! If you have a strong tendency to compare yourself with others, you’re hampering your self-esteem. Instead, look into your inner self, learn to know your worth, and accept yourself positively.
Every person possesses some unique qualities and strengths, so you do as well. Sit down and write what all you think is unique about you, and be proud of it. Doing so will increase your self-confidence, and you will find the truth that you’re worth, loveable, and unique. Improved self-esteem equals decreased comparison with others.
Recognize and Accept Feelings
The fear of inappropriateness compels you to suppress your feelings. And, when you try to suppress or push-away your feelings, you may express your frustration on others or look for them to sort out your issues.
Thus, being self-reliant requires you to accept your emotions and be true to what you feel. If you have uneven feelings or uncomfortable emotions, try to handle them in a positive way such as by doing meditation or mindfulness exercise.
Another effective way to accept your emotions is; writing them down. Keep a diary and write down what you feel, what are your emotional fears, and what evokes them. It will give you a better insight into your inner self, helping you to accept emotions.
Remember that the ruling faculty is invincible, when self-collected it is satisfied with itself, if it does nothing which it does not choose to do, even if it resist from mere obstinacy. What then will it be when it forms a judgment about anything aided by reason and deliberately? Therefore the mind which is free from passions is a citadel, for man has nothing more secure to which he can fly for refuge and for the future be inexpugnable. He then who has not seen this is an ignorant man; but he who has seen it and does not fly to this refuge is unhappy. Marcus Aurelius, Meditations 8.48
Express Emotions Appropriately
Once you develop a habit to recognize and accept your feelings, it’s time to express them in a healthy way. If you find that your emotions are negative, your self-reliance requires you to deal with them positively.
It is specifically essential if you’re stressed or depressed as it may lead you to get angry on people and hurt them with your words or aggressive behavior. So, being self-reliant, you need to reflect on a situation or respond to your emotions in a mature responsible manner.
In short, you can beat your stress or negative feelings by involving yourself in healthy activities like running, doing your favorite job, meditation or what else makes you feel comfortable.
Self-reliance is a lovely behavior that every one of us should try to achieve. Embracing your own feelings and thoughts not only makes you emotionally independent but also increases your self-esteem and develops a positive attitude in you. Being self-reliant means, you are happier and less stressed as you’re not allowing others to control yourself. Moreover, it helps you find the true meaning of your life, improves your self-worth, and increases your ability to make strong decisions and achieve your goals.
So, instead of allowing others to control your emotions, trust your own voice, learn from your failures, follow your heart, and do what you want in life. By adopting the above productive habits, you will be able to develop your self-reliance and stay happy.
Don’t forget to let us know; what are your thoughts about self-reliance and what are the ways that helped you to be self-reliant?